Does Therapy Even Work—Or Is It Just Talking?

A therapist and client engage in a meaningful conversation, creating a safe space for reflection and dialogue.

By Wade Eames

It’s a fair question—and one I’ve heard more than once:

“Does therapy even work—or is it just talking?”

It’s often asked with a mix of curiosity and skepticism. Sometimes by clients. Sometimes by family members. Sometimes by people sitting across from me who are doing the work and still wondering, “What is actually happening here?”

We live in a culture that rewards productivity, quick fixes, and visible outcomes. So the idea that you could sit in a room, talk about your feelings, and somehow come out different—it can seem a little… soft. Vague. Maybe even pointless.

But here’s the truth:Therapy is not just talking. It’s being heard in a way most people never have been. It’s feeling seen without being judged, fixed, or told what to do.It’s slowing down just enough to hear the deeper story beneath the noise.And it’s there—in that quiet, relational space—that real change begins.

Let’s Talk About Misconceptions

There are a lot of misunderstandings about therapy—especially in today’s culture where everyone has a platform. You may have heard popular voices, even influential figures like Joe Rogan and others, say that talking about your problems can actually make them worse.

On one level, they’re not wrong. Rumination—going over and over the same problem without direction, intention, or reflection—can absolutely reinforce helplessness and distress. Rehashing pain without working through it can leave us stuck in the loop.

But therapy is not rumination.

In therapy, we don’t just talk—we work.We bring intention to the conversation.We create awareness.We reprocess old experiences.We unlearn patterns that no longer serve us.We learn how to hold space for ourselves instead of turning away.

When you’re doing that kind of work in therapy, being heard and witnessed doesn’t amplify the problem—it starts to shift it. The room becomes a space where talking leads to insight, insight leads to responsibility, and responsibility opens the door to meaningful change.

So What Actually Happens in the Room?

It might look like “just talking,” but in reality, therapy is a space of deep exploration.

• You begin naming things you’ve never had the words for.

• You connect the dots between past and present.

• You hear yourself out loud and realise, “Oh… that’s what I’ve been carrying.”

• You feel emotions rise—and stay present long enough to finally feel them fully.

The room itself becomes a container. The structure—the time, the boundaries, the neutrality—it creates a kind of safety that allows vulnerability to emerge. And within that cocoon of safety, people say things they’ve never said before. They feel things they’ve been avoiding for years. And often, they walk away with a growing sense that they’re not just surviving—they’re starting to come alive.

Alongside this, therapy isn’t just intuitive—it’s informed. Scientifically backed approaches like trauma-informed frameworks, somatic awareness, attachment theory, cognitive and relational models are thoughtfully used to meet whatever presents in the room. Therapy isn’t passive—it’s precise. And when guided with care, it becomes a space where not only emotions are processed, but new neural and relational patterns are formed.

The Relationship Is the Work

Change doesn’t just come from insight. It comes from connection.

The therapeutic relationship is a unique bond. It’s one built on unconditional positive regard—a kind of nonjudgmental, attuned presence that communicates: You don’t have to be anything other than who you are, right now.

There’s something deeply healing about that. Irvin Yalom refers to it as eros in the therapeutic sense—not sexual, but the deep, life-affirming experience of being truly seen. When someone sees you without shame, without needing you to change, something shifts inside. Your nervous system relaxes. You begin to trust again. You start to wonder if maybe you are worth loving after all.

Therapy Creates an Emotionally Corrective Experience

Most of us learned how to relate through early experiences—many of which taught us to hide, perform, or protect ourselves from being vulnerable. In therapy, we get to revisit those emotional wounds—but this time, in a space that responds differently.

That’s what makes therapy powerful:

It gives you—in the moment—what you needed back then.Or, it gives you a different experience than what you’ve learned to expect.

This is called a corrective emotional experience. When someone finally expresses anger and isn’t abandoned… when they cry and aren’t told to stop… when they admit something they’ve carried in shame and are met with warmth—that moment rewires something. Gently. Quietly. But powerfully.

The Shift Can Be Subtle—But It’s Real

Therapy doesn’t always give you clarity right away. Sometimes, it’s weeks before you notice the change. Other times, it’s in hindsight—when you react differently to something that used to break you. When you speak up where you once stayed silent. When you stop running from your own emotions and start listening to them.

Clients often say things like:

“I’m not fixed… but I feel different.”“I don’t have all the answers, but I’m not afraid to ask the questions anymore.”“I feel more like myself.”

That’s therapy working.

If This Question Lives In You

If you’ve wondered whether therapy is worth it… if you’ve thought “I’m just talking and nothing’s happening”… know this:

You are not failing. You are unfolding.

Therapy is not about being told what to do. It’s about being met, seen, and supported as you begin to remember who you are—and what you need.

At Next Steps, we hold space for that process with care, patience, and depth. And if you’re ready to explore, we’ll meet you right where you are.

👉 www.nextsteps.au