& Psychotherapy
Grief Counselling in the Sutherland Shire
In Caringbah or online, at your pace.
Grief counselling gives you somewhere to be with a loss that's too heavy to carry alone, whether the death was last month or twenty years ago. I'm Wade Eames, a PACFA Registered Clinical counsellor and psychotherapist (28644) at Next Steps Counselling & Psychotherapy in Caringbah. I see adults in person and online after the death of someone close, a sudden or suicide loss, or grief that hasn't eased. You don't need a referral.
You're fine for most of the day. Then you reach for your phone to ring them, and for a second you forget. Or a song comes on in the supermarket and you have to leave your trolley in the aisle.
Or it's quieter than that. Everyone thinks you're doing well. You've been holding it together for so long that you're not sure what's underneath anymore.
Grief doesn't keep to a schedule, and it doesn't follow anyone's rules about how it should look.
Why grief gets stuck
Grief gets stuck when it has nowhere to go. Whatever you've heard about stages, it rarely moves in a neat order. It comes and goes, and doubles back. Usually one part of you carries the loss, while other parts work hard to keep that pain shut away, because at some point it felt like too much.
The part carrying the loss holds the ache, the missing them, the things you didn't get to say. The parts protecting you from it can look like:
• staying busy, so there's never a quiet moment
• going numb, or feeling oddly flat
• being the strong one for everyone else
• anger, at the hospital, at family, at them for leaving
• guilt, going over what you should have done differently
• working late, or scrolling until you fall asleep
None of this means you're grieving wrong. These parts are trying to look after you. They usually just need to be understood before they'll ease off.
How I work with grief: IFS at your pace
The model I work with most is IFS (Internal Family Systems). In grief work, it means we meet both sides: the part of you holding the pain, and the parts that have been keeping it at a distance. Nobody gets pushed. We don't force the tears, and we don't argue with the part that's been keeping you going.
When the protective parts trust that the pain won't flood you, they tend to step back on their own. Then there's room to be with the grief, and often with the person you lost, in a way that feels bearable. I'm IFS Level 1 trained. More about IFS
We meet what shows up. Some sessions are about the death. Some are about the relationship, including the complicated parts. Some are about who you are now that they're gone.
Sudden, traumatic and suicide loss
When a death is sudden or violent, grief and trauma often arrive together. You might keep seeing the moment you got the call, the hospital room, or the scene itself. The images replay when you try to sleep, and the grief can't get a look in because your body is still braced.
EMDR can help here. It works on a specific memory so it can lose its charge, without you having to describe it in detail. I'm trained in EMDR and use it inside the wider work. EMDR sessions run 90 minutes ($195). More about EMDR For trauma more broadly, see trauma counselling.
Losing someone to suicide brings its own weight. The questions, the replaying, the guilt that isn't yours to carry, and sometimes a silence from other people who don't know what to say. You can bring all of it here, including the parts you haven't said out loud to anyone.
Losing a parent, a partner or a child
Every loss is its own. Losing a parent can shake the ground you didn't know you were standing on, even as an adult, and even when the relationship was hard. Losing a partner can take your future plans, your daily routine and the person you'd talk to about it, all at once.
Losing a child is a grief I won't try to describe. I'd rather hear how it is for you.
When it's been years and it still hurts
Some people come to me five, ten or twenty years after a death, often a little embarrassed, as if they should be over it by now. There's no deadline on grief. If it still hurts, that usually means something hasn't had the space it needed.
You might see it called prolonged or complicated grief, but you don't need that label, or any diagnosis, to start.
Anniversaries, birthdays and the first Christmas often bring it back hard. So can milestones they should have been at. That's common, and it can be a good time to start.
Grief nobody acknowledges
Some losses don't come with a funeral or time off work. A divorce or separation. Estrangement from a parent or a sibling who is still alive. The death of a pet who was part of every day.
If it matters to you, it counts here.
Cost, rebates and Victims Services
A 60-minute session is $150, and a 90-minute session, which is how I run EMDR, is $195. You may be able to claim part of it through Bupa, Medibank, HCF, ahm or ARHG, depending on your extras cover. There's no Medicare rebate for seeing a counsellor, and you don't need a referral or a Mental Health Care Plan.
I'm also an approved Victims Services NSW counsellor. If someone close to you died through violent crime, you may be eligible for counselling through Victims Services at no cost to you.
Where and when
You can see me in person at Level 1, 418 Kingsway, Caringbah on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, or online over Zoom on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Hours are 8am to 8pm Monday to Thursday, and 8am to 6pm on Fridays. Caringbah is a short drive from Cronulla, Miranda, Sutherland and Menai. Counselling in the Sutherland Shire
How to start
Book online, or call or text me on 0479 155 439. You don't need a referral, and you don't need to know what to say. A first session can simply be about finding out whether this fits. I also know what it's like to sit on the other side.
If you need support right now, Lifeline is 13 11 14, any time. Griefline is 1300 845 745, 8am to 8pm every day. In an emergency, call 000.
Common questions
What does a grief counsellor actually do?
A grief counsellor gives you a steady place to be with the loss, at your pace. With me, that means getting to know the part of you carrying the pain and the parts working to keep it away, so the grief can move instead of staying stuck.
Is there a grief counsellor near me in the Sutherland Shire?
Yes. I see clients in person at Level 1, 418 Kingsway, Caringbah on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and online over Zoom on Tuesdays and Wednesdays.
It's been years. Is it too late for grief counselling?
No. There's no deadline on grief. Many people start years after a death, often around an anniversary or when something else brings it back.
Can you help after a sudden death or suicide loss?
Yes. When a death is sudden or traumatic, I may use EMDR alongside IFS to help with images or memories that keep replaying. We go at your pace.
Is grief counselling covered by Medicare or private health?
Not Medicare. Counsellors and psychotherapists aren't part of the Medicare rebate scheme. Private health is different: I'm registered with Bupa, Medibank, HCF, ahm and ARHG, and what you can claim depends on your extras cover.
Can I come for a loss that isn't a death?
Yes. Divorce, estrangement and the loss of a pet are all grief. If it matters to you, it counts.
Does grief counselling work online?
Yes. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are online over Zoom. Some people find it easier to let grief come in their own home.