& Psychotherapy
Anger Counselling in the Sutherland Shire
Caringbah and online, without a course or a lecture.
Anger counselling is for adults who snap, go cold or say things they regret, and want to understand why it keeps happening. I'm Wade Eames, a PACFA Registered Clinical counsellor and psychotherapist (28644) at Next Steps Counselling & Psychotherapy in Caringbah. We work on what's driving the anger, as well as how to catch it, in person or online. No referral needed.
You're tired, the kids are fighting in the back seat, and someone pushes in at the lights. By the time you're home you've yelled at everyone in the car, and you're sitting in the driveway feeling sick about it.
Or it's quieter. You go cold, stop talking for two days, and the people around you have learned to tread carefully.
Afterwards there's usually shame. The apology, the promise to do better, and then the next time. But anger that keeps coming back like that is usually protecting something. That's why trying harder hasn't been enough.
Anger is usually the feeling on top. Underneath there's often hurt, fear or shame, or a sense of being disrespected, trapped or unheard. For many people it goes back to a home where anger was dangerous, or was the only feeling anyone was allowed to show. The anger showed up to protect you, and it's still doing that job.
In IFS (Internal Family Systems) terms, the part of you that flares up is a protector. It moves fast because at some point it had to. Behind it there's usually a younger, more vulnerable part carrying something it never got to say. When we get to know both, the protector often doesn't need to take over so quickly. More about IFS
Is anger counselling the same as anger management?
Not in the course sense. There's no workbook, no fixed number of sessions and no certificate at the end. You'll learn practical ways to catch the build-up earlier and step back before it spills over, but the main work is understanding what's driving it, so you're not counting to ten for the rest of your life.
I don't run court-ordered or mandated anger management programs, and I can't issue a completion certificate for one.
What does anger counselling with me involve?
Early sessions are about getting to know you: what sets it off, who it comes out with, and what happens in your body in the seconds before. Most people describe heat in the face, a tight chest, a clenched jaw. Noticing that earlier is the first practical step, because it gives you a gap to work with.
Polyvagal-informed work helps you read what your nervous system is doing. DBT skills give you something to do when emotions are running too hot to think. You'll have those to use between sessions.
Over time we go toward what's underneath, at your pace. Some of it may be old: a parent who raged, a childhood where you had to stay on guard, something that happened that you've never talked about. If trauma is a big part of it, there's more on the trauma counselling page. For a memory that keeps setting you off, I'm trained in EMDR and can bring it into the work. EMDR sessions run 90 minutes ($195). More about EMDR
I pay attention to what's alive in the room, including the moments you start to get irritated with me. Those are useful. We can slow down and look at them together, while it's happening, with someone who isn't going to react.
Who comes to see me about anger?
All sorts of people, and anger looks different in each of them. Some explode. Some go quiet and cold for days. Some turn it on themselves. Some are fine at work and only lose it with the people closest to them, while others hold it together at home and blow up at work or on the road.
Anger isn't only a men's issue, though that's often the assumption. It also tends to travel with burnout, grief, anxiety, or a relationship that keeps going round the same argument.
If your anger has started to frighten the people you love, and you want that to change, I can help. And if it's costing you more than you'd like in any other way, that's enough to start too.
How much does anger counselling cost?
Sessions are $150 for 60 minutes or $195 for 90. Health fund rebates are available through Bupa, Medibank, HCF, ahm and ARHG, depending on your extras cover. Medicare doesn't cover counselling with me and a Mental Health Care Plan doesn't apply, but you also don't need a GP referral to book.
If your anger is tied to an accepted workers compensation claim, or to being a victim of crime, I'm SIRA-approved (151287) and an approved Victims Services NSW counsellor. Both are gap-free.
Where and when
I'm in the Caringbah rooms at Level 1, 418 Kingsway on Mondays, Thursdays and Fridays, and online over Zoom on Tuesdays and Wednesdays. Sessions run from 8am to 8pm Monday to Thursday and 8am to 6pm on Fridays. Caringbah sits between Cronulla, Miranda and Sutherland, so most of the Shire is close by.
How to start
Book online, or call or text me on 0479 155 439. You don't need a referral, and you don't need to have it worked out. A first session is a chance to see whether I'm someone you can talk to. I know what it's like to sit on the other side.
If you're looking more broadly, there's an overview of counselling in the Sutherland Shire.
If you're worried you might hurt someone, or someone is unsafe right now, call 000. 1800RESPECT (1800 737 732) is for anyone affected by domestic, family or sexual violence. If you're worried about your own behaviour, the Men's Referral Service from No to Violence is 1300 766 491. Lifeline is 13 11 14. All three are open 24 hours.
Common questions
Is anger counselling the same as an anger management course?
No. There's no workbook or fixed program. You'll learn practical ways to catch anger earlier, but most of the work is understanding what sits underneath it, such as hurt, fear or shame, so it doesn't have to take over.
Can you provide a certificate or report for court?
No. I don't run court-ordered or mandated anger management programs, and I can't issue a completion certificate. If a court or lawyer has asked you to complete a specific program, check with them which providers they accept.
Can I use a Mental Health Care Plan for anger counselling?
No. A Mental Health Care Plan gives a Medicare rebate with providers such as psychologists, and counsellors aren't part of that scheme. Health fund rebates are available with Bupa, Medibank, HCF, ahm and ARHG, depending on your extras cover.
What if my anger is hurting my relationship?
That's one of the most common reasons people come. We work on what's happening for you: what sets it off, what sits underneath, and how to stay steadier when it matters. Things often shift at home as you change what you bring to it.
Does anger counselling work online?
Yes. Tuesdays and Wednesdays are online over Zoom, and the work is the same as in the Caringbah rooms.
How many sessions will I need?
It depends on you and what's underneath. Many people get quicker at catching the build-up once they know what to look for. Work on older hurt usually takes longer, and we'll talk about it as we go.